Got Spandex?

I wonder as I walk around campus. From many fashion-minded critics' perspectives, it seems that the general mass of female college students dress in UGG boots, sweatpants, and hoodies. My expectations upon entering college ran something along those lines.

Lo and behold,  the situation is even worse.

It was bad enough when the sweatpants were around. They boldly proclaimed, "I don't care!" Yes, they were unfashionable and unattractive, but the point is that we  knew that they were and made no pretenses about it.

Since then, black Spandex has crept into the female closets and is clinging to college girls' legs like a second layer of skin. 

The rest of the world must have missed the memo that said that it was attractive to clad yourself in a manner that allows every twitch of the muscles in your behind to be painfully visible.

Either someone declared a contest to see who could successfully squeeze the most body fat into the slenderest tubes of fabric,  or Spandex contains a certain brainwashing quality that gifts  its wearers with an ability to forget their weight. 

I say this because there is no distinction made between those who weigh 100 pounds and those who weigh 300 pounds. Regardless of their size, they all wear Spandex. 

And I'm not suggesting that leggings look good on either type. It doesn't matter if you're overweight or underweight, no one wants to see what you're forcing us to see.

The major issue here is not the appalling spectacle that these leggings inevitably present. The issue is that said leggings are worn with obvious confidence, as though they make the wearer a potential candidate for a Parisian catwalk.

And don't give me the "I wear them because they're comfortable" line. We all know that's not true, and that you feel as awkward as you look.

Let's bring back the sweatpants, please.

My eyes are starting to hurt.